Schedule: He picks what time we get up in the morning, no matter what ridiculous hour it may be. Don't get up too early or he has to be woken up, and that is not acceptable. At that time, he must receive food in his bowl even if he doesn't plan to eat it yet. By the same token, he does not like it if we go to bed early or later than our usual time, and when he decides to go to bed, we need to pick him up to put him on it, even though he's capable of jumping there himself.
Food: If any other pet has eaten from his bowl, it must be cleaned before he is willing to eat out of it again. He will not try new foods if he doesn't immediately like the smell. He must be fed directly prior to one of us leaving or he will not let us out the door. Additionally, for no apparent reason whatsoever, food can't touch the side of his bowl or he will not eat it.
Attention: Laps must be available to him at all times; should he choose to sit on one. Once he is on someone's lap, they may not sneeze, move him in any way, nor stop petting him exactly where he wants to be pet at that moment. If another pet is getting attention and he decides to walk over and lay on his back, it is time for him to get attention instead.
Daily Habits: Loud noises out of the ordinary are unacceptable, whether coming from inside or outside of the house. All doors in the house must be left open at all times just in case he has the desire to enter that room. Other pets are to step around him, regardless of whether he may be directly in the middle of the room or near his path.. If a dog thinks that he can enter the space that he is currently occupying, that dog will get smacked.
If we follow these rules and don't otherwise annoy, ignore or move him, we don't have to deal with any of the following reactions for the day: